Baptismal Testimony

<< Though I was ever-so excited to see the day when I will be water-baptized, I also dreaded that day, when I have to write my baptismal testimony. You see, I have always thought of myself as a poor writer. And to write one of the most important compositions of my life haunted me. But by God's grace, I have done it! To God be the glory! >>

I was born and raised to a Catholic family. Back then, I thought I was doing pretty well in life - I didn't hurt anybody, I read the Bible once in a while, went to mass every Sunday and prayed the rosary. I even went to a Catholic school.

I was oblivious to how grave my situation is until my then-officemate shared the gospel and invited me to attend a worship service of a Filipino-Chinese Church near our place. At first, I was irritated and made every excuses not to go. To stop him, I finally accepted the invite. "It's just one Sunday, and the church is nearby anyway", I thought.

At first, I was impressed by the grandeur of the church. The place was very well-kept. There were sermon handouts. The pastor had a good message prepared, and the people were very nice and welcome-y. These things made me come back week after week, supplying me with more knowledge about God and the Bible. But my heart was still hardened. I still didn't accepted Him as Lord and Ruler of my life.

Things had changed when I joined another church's youth camp. During my one-on-one session with our group counselor, she invited me to pray the sinner's prayer, but I declined. I was scared of the huge and life-long commitment (you know, you're dealing with God!). But she explained that even faith comes from God. After that session, in my room, I prayed to God, submitted all my fears to Him, asked for His forgiveness, and let Him take charge of my life.

Since then, my perspective in life had changed. I'm not anymore the person who lives to get what I want and strives hard to be what I wish to become. Living a single day with Him as the focus : to fear and love the God Who laid down Himself so that a worthless sinner like me can live, keeps me now going.

I am still a work-in-progress, I still have my fears while being inflicted by my brokenness. But I believed that God promised that "neither death, nor life...nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us [me] from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord".

I am, and will never be fulfilled as each day I walk closer with Him. All thanks and praises to God!

Getting It Right

It is been a while since I write...

Life has been pretty fast lately. The sad thing is I don't know if I am becoming a better person or not.

Work has been pretty challenging and time-consuming for a while now. And with the remaining time I have, I spend either being in front of my laptop or with Dan, who I love so much, I just want to be with him every time. I am also struggling physically - age is catching up on me and I feel uglier and fatter.

Spiritually, I am so distant from God. I read the Bible less. I do miss my QT often. I do things that I am not supposed to do, even though I know it's written in the Bible. I am so so ashamed of myself. So ashamed that I hide myself from Him.

It's ironic that I am saying (...or writing) all these 2 weeks before my Baptismal ceremony. And i want to quit...not the baptism, but all these slacking and being distracted with earthly things.

I want and I need to be right with God, again. Not just in time for the ceremony, but for the rest of my life.

Honestly, I do miss Him. Let David's prayer be my prayer for tonight...

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will turn back to you.
Save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me,
and my tongue will sing of your righteousness.
- Psalm 51:10-14