A Bit of Tentmaker's Tale

I have been in Singapore for more than two years, and it is always a big treat every time I go back to my earthly home - Manila. :D

Whenever I am back, a plethora of emotions consumes my heart. In this post, please let the OFW within me (though I cannot still believe I am one :-) ) share a bit of emo every time I come home:

1. Happy. Seeing familiar faces and letting my palate delight on home-cooked Filipino meals, who would not be? :-)

2. Grief/Dismay. Also seeing the 'familiars' and noticing how much deteriorated they have become is such a heart breaker. Urban decay is everywhere. Everything seems not maintained. Even the traffic and pedestrian signal lights do not work. I find myself comparing and wondering why can't the place I love be a lovable place like Singapore.

3. Envy. Every time I meet with friends, I cannot help but feel a tinge of it. Just a call away and they are on the comforts of each other or their families. Likewise, even though they work here in Manila, it seems that they could still afford the things they fancy (like an overseas trip!)

4. Sense of Urgency. Since I always stay here only for a week, I need to be productive every single day. There are doctors to be consulted, friends to be met (hairstylist included), goods to be bought, things and catching-up to be discussed and most importantly, gospel to be shared to my unbelieving friends and family.

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Sometimes, I do wonder...why do I still have to leave? Everything that I desire is here (uhhmm, traffic and flood are exceptions).

But I believe it is not His. God has provided so many avenues in Singapore for me (and Dan) to grow spiritually - our membership in ARPC is one. Also in my heart, I believe there are soooo much to learn first before I settle back here. I still do not know what exactly they are and what are the things I have to go through to learn them, but certainly I need to be prepared and equipped before I come back here for good.

And with regards to my worries here, (well, mostly concerning my family), may God help me lift everything unto Him. He holds everything in His hands. He is in control. Definitely.